One of my favorite quotes is by Lucille Ball, "You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world."
Self-confidence is something I've always struggled with. Loving myself and the body I'm in has never been easy. However, I know the importance of it and that's why its something I'm always working on.
Have you ever struggled to love yourself? Have you ever looked in the mirror and not liked what you saw?
I have. I've hated who I've seen looking back at me. I have mental health issues and some days feel like a burden to those I love, even at my skinniest I've wanted to lose just a few pounds more, I don't function like a "normal" person and it makes me hate myself, and I've gone through long periods of shame for past decisions. I could go on and on. The moral of the story, I understand not being able to stand my own reflection.
So I've decided to share some of my favorite tips and tricks for learning to love yourself! Here are my top 10!
Daily Affirmations These definitely feel silly at first. Talking to yourself in the mirror can make you feel crazy but it helps! Pick a new affirmation, daily, weekly, monthly, or just whatever you are needing at that exact moment and tell yourself it in the mirror! Look at yourself and say "I am enough, I am loved, and I am kind." Or whatever it is that you are struggling with remembering right now. A lot of my current affirmations are "You are beautiful, your body is perfectly fine, and you just need to focus on health."
Stop the Negative Self-Talk This is so much easier said than done, I know, but you have to start working on it some time. We are meaner to ourselves than anyone else, I know I constantly have that voice in my head, "You aren't good enough, you aren't pretty enough, you aren't skinny enough". What you have to do is stop yourself when you notice it and change the narrative. "I am good enough, I am pretty enough, I am working on being healthy not skinny".
Build Your Strengths Find what you are good at and grow it! Succeeding at something is going to boost your self-confidence, so find your strengths. Sit down and write out a list of things you are good at and find something you can grow. I love writing and I wrote a book that may or may not get published, but in case it doesn't, I have another book started. Just the act of completing my book was huge!
Count Every Win Yes, every win. You got out of bed today when all you wanted to do was stay curled up and cry? WIN! You got the dishes done? WIN! You made it to work even though it's the last thing you wanted to do? WIN! Yes, the simple and small wins matter!
Practice Self-Compassion This is huge for feelings of guilt and shame. Give yourself the same compassion you would give to others. We are human, we make mistakes, so learn to forgive yourself for those mistakes. From the little ones like being late for a meeting to the big ones like getting married to the wrong person. FORGIVE YOURSELF! You deserve forgiveness and compassion.
Be Grateful A grateful attitude can make a world of difference in your life. Instead of counting what you don't have, start counting what you do. Even if all you can be thankful for is being alive for another day, start taking count of what you do have!
Don't Forget to Laugh This sounds simple but it's not as easy for some. Learn to laugh at life, the ridiculous predictions you find yourself in, and the silly little mistakes you make. Laughing things off instead of carrying them with you will keep your load light.
Set Boundaries This is SO important. Setting boundaries with others keeps you safe and the negative feels at bay. When you let people cross internal boundaries, you become angry with not just them but yourself too. You feel guilt and shame for not standing up for yourself. Healthy boundaries not only benefit you personally but keep your relationships with people healthy!
Stay Home When Needed Having trouble with boundaries? Feeling low? Some days it takes courage to stay home and face your issues instead of running from them. So when you find yourself struggling, stay home and sort things out. Face what you're feeling and decide how you are going to move forward to fix it.
Remember You Are Loved When you start hating yourself and you are feeling low, there is one simple thing you can do to help turn your mindset around. Remind yourself you are loved! When I'm having a bad day and the self-talk has gotten negative I remember I have 2 kids that adore me, a husband that worships me, and friends who do love me for me. This little reminder can change my self-talk around real quick!
After reading this list, what are you needing to work on yourself? If you decide that you need to start working on your self-love, pick one or two things at first. Don't overwhelm yourself. Then as you master on, add one more.
Drop me a comment on social with what you plan to start working on first!
Much Love,
M
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