Mania is defined as an "Extremely elevated and excitable mood usually associated with bipolar disorder" and "showing wild, apparently deranged, excitement and energy."
With that being said, mania feels amazing! You feel unstoppable and ready to take on the world at every level! It's a happiness that can't be beat, but unfortunately, it's only temporary and usually leaves a trail of destruction in its path. So, let's dive in!
My Own Symptoms
Every person's symptoms vary, just like with any disease. With there being such a wide variety of possibilities it's good to know what your own symptoms are. I'm lucky enough to have a good idea once I'm manic and they are typically always the same for me.
Overestimating my own abilities: believing I can accomplish goals that aren't feasible. A great example is when I got suckered into Mary Kay and believed I was going to be the next National Sales Director and make $10K+ a month within the first year. You don't know limits and believe you can accomplish anything, even if it's not feasible.
Spending Exorbitant Amounts of Money: I cannot explain the amount of money I've blown while manic. It feels right at the time though, in my head I'm not buying anything stupid. My top example of this is convincing myself it was a good idea to go out and no-interest finance $800 in Disney Blu-Ray disks. At the time I'm not thinking it's stupid, that I shouldn't do it, but instead, I've come up with a good reason in my mind why this purchase is necessary.
Lack of Sleep: Now this is a big one that can lead to a harder crash at the end of the manic episode. I'll be so wired that I'm either up until dawn or waking back up at 2 in the morning ready to start my day. This takes a toll on the body but no matter the toll, I can't sleep!
Talking, Talking, Talking: Don't get me wrong, I'm a talker on a good day, however, manic talking is ridiculous. From the amount of talking to not being able to stay on one topic for more than 10 seconds, it can be a rough symptom for those around me.
Hyperactivity: This one can be kind of nice in the sense my house gets SO clean during this time. I have trouble just sitting and doing nothing. Another nice thing about the hyperactivity is I can get things ready for the crash at the end. I get caught up on blog posts, cleaning, meal planning, and so much more.
Impulsive: This is typically where I get myself into the most trouble. I stop thinking things through and it ends up causing issues. From spending money to quitting a job with no backup plan, it can be extremely destructive.
Hyperfocus: Becoming hyper-focused can be somewhat funny or annoying. I will take up one day and realize I'm going to be obsessed with something new. My funnies example is watching Undercover Boss one day, they went undercover in Nascar. That day I all of a sudden became obsessed with it and picked a driver with the pretty car who I then become a mega fan of. Bought the jacket and everything! It's absurd. This one can be annoying to those around me and it's all I want to talk about.
As you can see, these kinds of symptoms can lead to a lot of destruction, but it feels so good at the time!
Why Mania Can Be Dangerous
Now, even though it feels amazing, it can actually be dangerous in some sense. Whether you're putting yourself in danger of not paying important bills such as rent or putting yourself in the way of physical harm.
Spending: I've heard stories of people spending their rent money and risking eviction because they convinced themselves that they could spend it on something else. This can lead to relationship problems, guilt, and the risk of not having your necessary needs met.
Lack of Worry For One's Safety: Whether it's sexual escapades or hanging out in places you shouldn't be, you don't care about the repercussions that could happen. Hyper-sexuality is a comment side effect and often people don't care about what could come of it.
Making Life-Altering Decisions: Typically these decisions are big ones that will affect the trajectory of your future. A great example of this is quitting a job with no backup plan or quitting for a new crazed idea of how to make money.
How I Control Mania
One thing my doctors praise me on is being self-aware of my state of mind. I can typically tell very early on that I'm becoming manic. This allows me to be on the offense of how to control what is to come and lessen the fallout. So, here are a few tips I'd like to share on how I help with controlling my mania. I can't make it go away, I can't get through it any faster, but I help myself not make bad decisions that will hurt me once I'm out of it.
Shopping: I either don't go shopping alone or I go with a list and don't deviate from it. My new favorite is online grocery shopping, which allows Mike & myself to review purchases before sending the order through. It lessens impulse buys and gives me the time to ask, "Is this a good purchase". Also, STAY OFF AMAZON. When I'm manic I will not open Amazon, it's a great way to control spending when you know to just stay out of an app altogether.
Talk, Talk, Talk: I talk to Mike about all decisions I want to make when manic. We openly talk about big decisions during a normal time, but especially when I'm manic. This is a great opportunity for him to talk some sense into me if I'm planning to do something life-alternation. If you don't have a significant other, find yourself a person or two that will help guide you through these times.
Stay Home: Yes, staying home can help a lot. When I stay home I don't typically go buy anything I shouldn't, can't put myself in any bad situations, and plus my house gets really clean!
Sleeping Medications: It's no surprise that lack of sleep can take a toll on your body physically, emotionally, and mentally. It's important to do everything you can to get a good night's rest. My doctor has prescribed me an insomnia medication but there are plenty over the counter options too!
The Aftermath
So, you've been experiencing this high but all that goes up must come down. There is typically some sort of crash following a manic episode. This can be a full-on depression or just a lull of feeling blah because all that excitement and ambition is gone. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, regret, and shame. Physically your body finally relaxes and you feel like you need to sleep for days.
If you can learn to control your mania episode, then you are left with less of the negative feelings afterward. The crash isn't as hard at the end.
Conclusion
In closing even though mania feels amazing and has some upsides, it can lead to a path of destruction. This is why it's so important to learn to control it instead of letting it control you.
Do you have anything that helps you get through a manic episode?
Best wishes my BPD friends,
M
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