When I came back from Alaska in 2019, I had $50 in my account, the belongings in my car, and no place to live. I was homeless, broke, and broken. I’m lucky enough to say I was only homeless for 6 weeks, but it was long enough to teach me some very valuable lessons.
For 6 weeks I couch-surfed, wondering where I was going to be sleeping that night. I didn’t have a place to call home, even if I did, I didn’t have anything to put in it. I threw away bills that came in because I didn’t even have a home, why would I pay the cards my abuser had maxed out? I laughed when they called and said I had to pay, what else could these people possibly take from me that hadn’t already been taken?
Luckily, within that 6 weeks a local non-profit put up my first month’s rent and another non-profit filled it with old furniture that I loved so much. My bed was uncomfortable as hell, but it was a bed, and it was mine. I still have the picture I took of it the first night.
I learned so much during this time. Here are my top 7 lessons I learned from being homeless!
1. Who My Friends Are: I learned who I could really count on, the people who dodged calls or messages because they knew I needed help, the people who abandoned me at my weakest time in life, were obviously not friends. I was lucky enough to be able to sleep on a couch for those 6 weeks, even if it meant moving every few nights. I appreciated the help I got from those that I could say were true friends.
2. How to be Resourceful: I had the comfort of my husband since I was 16-years-old, I never had to scrap for food or worry about a roof over my head, until now. I had to learn to stretch every penny, how to give up anything extra, how to survive with nothing. It was a new level of being resourceful.
3. A New Level of Work Ethic: I was working two jobs, 7 days a week, some weeks I worked 60+ hours. The worst days were 7-4 at my phone job then 4:30-2am at my casino job. It was miserable but I knew I had to bust my ass to get out of this situation. No longer could I work 40 hrs a week, have downtime, and enjoy time with my kids and friends. I had to work. I’d work, come home and cry to my friends on the phone, sleep, and repeat. I had never worked that hard in my life.
4. A Lot About Myself: I would sit for hours in my car, smoking, crying, and contemplating life. Avoiding where I was staying that night as long as possible so I wouldn’t be too much of a pain and could hopefully stay one more night. I found my safe space sitting in that 2009 Honda Pilot that was the closest thing to home I had. Sitting in that car for hours on end gave me so much time to think, process, and figure out who I was.
5. How to Appreciate the Basics: Something as small as a trash can, a used pan, an old bed meant the world to me at that point as I was moving into my first apartment. Things that even I take for granted now, were exciting and meaningful at that point. I wasn’t even embarrassed by the old furniture at that point, it meant too much to me. Getting rid of it when I moved in with Mike was exciting because I was upgrading but also brought a little sadness and I had worked so hard for it. It was the only things that brought me any comfort during that time.
6. To Not Give Up Hope: This was hard, there were days I’d find somewhere to park and SCREAM at my windshield. I’d sit in my car sobbing, asking how I was going to survive this. I could even face my kids, I was a failure in my eyes. But I’d find something to hang onto each day, usually my kids, and give myself one more night.
7. Things Can Always Be Worse: Yeah, at that point it was hard to see how but I always knew how lucky I was to still have my vehicle, to have a couch to sleep on, to have a cell phone to be able to talk to my support system, and to have the hope that I was going to be in an apartment eventually. I had so little but had more than a lot of people in my situation have. I also had an amazing ex-husband and his girlfriend who stepped up and kept the kids while I figured my life out. My kids didn’t have to suffer with me.
As scary and trying as this point in time was, it taught me so much. Everything I learned during that time shaped me and my life to be where I am today. I try to always remember that time to keep a level of gratitude, I never dreamed I’d be where I am today. I never imagined I’d have the amazing life that I do now.
I challenge you to keep a level of gratitude in your day-to-day life! You may think you’re failing but I promise you have what some people are praying for.
Thanks for Reading,
M
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