It's no secret that bedtimes are hard for a lot of kids, however with autism it takes it to an entirely new level. Bedtimes used to be something I dreaded! I can't tell you how many times I cried, not knowing how to get Rayne to bed without it being an all-out war. We used to have nights when she kept everyone up, where her and I were both crying. There were times I sobbed that I wasn't built to handle this.
(Rayne playing in the puppy kennel)
One of the biggest issues we had was "Poop-caso". It's a disgusting sensory-seeking behavior that absolutely no one warned me about. She would have a bowel movement and then smear it all over her room. It was awful to clean up and it stunk the entire house up. I truly didn't see the light at the end of the tunnel some nights. It was hell.
Then we were battling getting her to calm down. She'd climb and jump everywhere, get bored and destroy anything she could. We couldn't have blinds in her room, we had to find ways to secure her closet, and it was a battle to figure out the best way to secure her door shut.
I seriously questioned how the hell I was going to survive raising her.
Then we slowly figured out each issue, one win at a time, and now I look forward to bedtimes like most other parents. (It means wine time!)
I wanted to share Rayne's bedtime routine and how we conquered each trial she threw our way.
ROUTINE! We developed a routine that starts at about the same time each night. Luckily, I have a great relationship with my ex-husband so we are able to communicate to keep things uniform between the two households. The start of Rayne's routine is her bedtime shower every night between 6:45 and 7:00. Even if she doesn't need her hair washed, she gets in the shower so she knows it's time to wind down.
Jail Jammies: So they are actually called Little Keeper Sleepers, but we call them her jail jammies. They zip up the back and don't give room for her to wiggle out. This put an end to the dread "poop-caso". It also gave her a secure feeling.
Medications: Yes we were desperate enough to go to the doctor. I went in sobbing, telling them she wasn't sleeping because at the worst of it, she was sleeping about 3 hours which isn't good for her or me. They had started her on a seizure medication but it quickly wore off, so they started her on a different medication that would physically calm her body down. It did the trick. Nowadays I don't know how much of an effect it has on her physically as much as she knows that medicine means bedtime.
Safety Bed: Our "safety bed" is actually a modified trampoline! A true safety bed is upwards of $5,000 and we needed 2! Luckily, I found a mom on TikTok who got a trampoline and turned it into a bed, that's when we knew we had found our answer. Prior to her "baby cage" (I have to laugh when I can) she would jump around and take forever to go to bed. Now we have a safe space that she gladly climbs into each night. She has a ton of stuffies, pillows, and blankets and calms down almost immediately.
Finally: Yes, I turn the TV on for her. Having something to fall asleep to helps her tremendously, and no it doesn't make me a bad mom. She needs that noise to fall asleep to and having her Little Einstines makes the world of difference.
I truly hope this reaches someone that needs it, because it took us FOREVER to figure it out ourselves and no parent deserves to feel that. Each trial is just another puzzle to solve and neuro-spicy kids love to throw puzzles our way.
If you are struggling with bedtimes, do research! Don't sit and cry like I did. You got this mama!
Much Love,
M
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