Many of you know who Sam is, if not, Sam is the 3rd ex-wife of my crazy ex-husband. I found out after the fact I was number 4. So we find our humor in this dark situation of referring to each other as 'number 3' and 'number 4'. Due to the craziness, we've gone through, she has become my best friend and the sister I've never had. She saved me and kept me alive during the darkest time in my life.
Our conversations include going back and forth on who the strongest is. I believe her to be the strongest because she went through so much more than me, she says I'm stronger because I got out quicker. There's no debate we are strong women, but here's why Sam is my idol and why she is truly the strongest woman I know.
She stayed in a horrendous situation to protect a child that wasn't hers. I won't give details as this is her story to tell, but she protected a child that wasn't her own flesh and blood, at the cost of her own safety and well-being. Not many people out there would do that. She has a huge heart and puts others before herself. She's quick to help, but not ask for it herself. (I get after her for this all the time, we're working on it!)
She was trapped in a very scary situation where she was beaten down in every way possible for 10 years, then when the child she was protecting was out of the house she ran for her and her kids' lives. She left with nothing, she ventured out on her own to nothing with 3 kids but did what she had to do to keep them safe. She has a hell of a story to tell herself, but she stayed on her feet and fought for her kids, she didn't fall to pieces like so many of us would have, like I did.
She spent years being forced to send her kids to her abuser, knowing they weren't safe, but the courts weren't doing what they needed to do. Instead of falling apart, instead of giving up, she stayed on top of things, did what she had to do, and eventually, it paid off and the courts came through. But for years she was forced to attempt to co-parent with a narcissist and psychopath (in my opinion for legal purposes lol) for years. How she managed to stay upright during this time is beyond me. Her strength is unmatched.
She took a random woman in, early in the morning, who she didn't know but called her crying. She knew he would eventually hurt me, but knew she couldn't do anything. She didn't know for sure if this was a setup by her crazy ex, but she took the chance and helped a scared woman from South Dakota. If it weren't for her I would have ended up in a shelter for a few days until I could get home, she took the chance and gave me a place to stay. I will forever be grateful for this. There was no sleeping in my car in Alaska during that time of year and shelters are particularly nice. Instead, I got to stay somewhere with someone who could listen to my story and understand it on the deepest level possible. She had my back before she even knew me.
She finally got the okay to leave Alaska, worked her ass off and got her kids the hell out of there. She fled after being trapped for many years, back to her family and support system. She started all over back in the lower 48 with time to finally face her own well-being instead of sitting in survival mode. She had lots of wounds to heal but she also has done it while raising 3 kids by herself.
She's the most badass single mom I know. Single mom life is hard enough, working a full-time job (she's moving up in the company!!), caring for three kids by herself, not receiving any help, and still managing to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. She does this all while still healing from trauma you can't imagine.
I could go on for a long time why this woman is a true badass, but I'll leave it at this. Number 3, survived what would have killed so many of us. I've been in awe of her since I learned the true story of the other ex-wife, and continue to be to this day.
Love you #3,
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