Do you believe in imprinted energy? Like something really good or really bad happens and a piece of that energy continues to stay there.
I do and I’ve experienced it.
In recent years I experienced imprinted energy when moving in with Mike. My move to Darcie Street was an exciting one in the fact I was moving in with a guy I was head over heels in love with! I was moving into a beautiful home, my kids were each going to have their own room, and a backyard to play in! I was going to have a big kitchen to cook in and a cute family room to cuddle in.
The only problem was that Mike has lived there for 12 years already and faced several traumas and one we had faced together. Before I moved in, his ex broke-in, and attacked us at 2 in the morning. It’s hard to continue to live somewhere and not think of that creepy figure coming up the stairs in the middle of the night, no matter how much time has passed.
The house had no past tied to it, for Mike it had a lot. Even though it had gutted it and redone everything, you can’t get rid of energy by redoing the flooring. For years this affected Mike and he didn’t understand the weight that he carried.
Finally, after being together for a while, I approached him with the idea of moving. I told him even though I don’t associate the house with anyone else, I worry the Darcie house held too much history for him to move forward not only with me but for him as a person. I worried that energy was holding on tight to him and was what held him back from reaching new heights. He agreed with a heavy heart of letting the house go he raised his children in.
I can still remember the day we left, nothing was going right and we had to spend the next few weeks in an Airbnb, but he seemed cheerier than I had ever seen him. He was more affectionate and outgoing than I can ever recall. He seemed lighter. A few days later he finally acknowledged that he felt a weight come off his shoulders as we left the Darcie house for the last time. That part of him would miss the home he had made his own for so many years but he knew it was time to leave it in the past. That it was time for us to start new in a home of our own.
So, I’ve thought about this a lot as we hit our one-year anniversary of living in our new home and how we’ve reached new levels in our relationship and as individuals since leaving. It’s got me thinking about when is it the surroundings and when is it what’s inside.
I’ve compiled a list of 3 Reasons a fresh start is not the answer and 3 reasons for a fresh start.
Let’s start with 3 Reasons a Fresh Start is Not the Answer:
1. Your relationship is in shambles, and you think a new house will fix it. A new house is not going to ‘fix’ your relationship. Heck, moving is a pain and will only make things worse! If your relationship is not solid, getting a place together is not a good idea. It locks you into something with someone that is not exactly easy to get out of. A fresh start is not a fix-all.
2. You believe it will fix inner turmoil without further worker. In our case, Mike and I worked on ourselves and we got as far as we could. Mike did a ton of work on himself and healing from what he had been through, but he had reached his max healing while still living there. Being in the same surroundings for that many traumas makes it near impossible to heal, so it was needed. If you haven’t done any of the hard work and think that moving will just magically fix it all, you are incorrect. You will take all your problems with you and find yourself in the same slump you are in now.
3. You think it will fix your life’s problems. Same as above. You aren’t going to just magically have a great life by moving houses, cities, or states. You are taking your problems and yourself with you when you move! Figure out the problems first, make what progress you can, and then see about moving.
So now let’s look at the 3 Reasons a Fresh Start is a Good Idea:
1. You’ve experienced a traumatic event in the home: I’m not saying ay trauma means a new home, but some events are big enough grounds for a move. Something like someone coming after you while you sleep is terrifying and definitely grounds for a move, but it can also be something less in your face. A divorce, being the victim of domestic violence, or a whole number of things. These are all things that are going to leave very negative imprints and can affect your well-being. I’ll state again that you still must do the work, but it may help to get yourself a fresh start.
2. Your relationship is steady and ready: It’s always fun and exciting to get your first place together, it’s a form of cementing your relationship together. So if your relationship is steady enough for a move and able to handle it, get yourself your first home together! It’s super special and nothing beats it!
3. You Can Make Further Progress on Yourself & Relationship: I’m just going to sound like a broken record at this point but if you are willing to put in the work, get the new home!
Fresh starts are amazing, but they aren’t the easy fix people like to think they are. You still have to do all the work but make sure you aren’t surrounded by loads of negative energy. That’s what we did for us and for our relationship last year when we moved away from Darcie and it was the best decision we made.
It’s not always easy but it’s worth the work.
Much love,
M
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